We are back!

It has been a while but we are back!

Stop!

Most of us know exactly what it is that creates the pain, confusion, stagnation, and disruption in our lives. Whether it is a habit, behavior, relationship or fear, we know. Unfortunately, we seem powerless to stop whatever it is. Sometimes we believe we don't have the discipline or willpower to stop. The behavior becomes so habitual we do it without thinking. Other times we know exactly what it is and what we do, but we simply keep doing it anyway. We are the only ones responsible for what goes on in our lives. We can make excuses and blame others, but we are responsible to and for ourselves. When we find something or someone creating in our lives that which we do not want, we must muster the courage ans strength to stop it!

Today I use my power to stop what is no longer good to me!

~Iyanla Vanzant

Peace ~ Queen Kalila Earth

Cornbread

Corn Bread

Ingredients :       

• 1 cup Medium Grind Cornmeal  
• 1 cup Flour  
• 1/2 tsp Sea Salt  
• 4 tsp Baking Powder  
• 1 cup of Sugar  (I use sugar in the raw)
• 1 Egg  ( I use ener-g egg replacer)
• 1 cup Milk (I use soy)
• 1/4 cup Butter or Margarine, softened ( I use vegan margarine)

Directions:

Whisk together the dry ingredients in a bowl.  Add the egg, milk and butter.  Beat until smooth, about 1 minute.  Be careful not to overbeat.

Bake in a greased 8-inch square pan for 20-25 minutes at 425°F.  Serve warm with butter and a beaming smile.

A Simple Lesson Learned

Peace Family,

Please pardon my hold up of the progression of this blog. I have had to take a few steps back to better observe my position and determine the best direction for me at this time. My personal life over the last couple of months has made me ponder virtually every aspect of my 31 years of living. The one thing that stayed in the forefront of my mind was the conditions in which I have created for myself and my children over the years. I have three beautiful children and all of them have some sort of issue, be it overly emotional, entirely too clingy, or completely disconnected. The only one sure thing of it all is that, it is my actions that have bought about their reactions. As parents or just people in general we like to at times blame everything and anything on others. This gives us this really delusional idea that we didn’t screw up so bad because someone else had their hand in the pot. Then we proceed with this fantastic idea that we now feel better due to this fact. I think we often like to hear a bunch of pleasantries about parenting and how things will turn out if we just have patience. We often hear people say, just hold on, get a message or take a break and meditate. The questions becomes what happens when those seemingly minute things do not work in bringing you any type of comfort when parenting suddenly stops being easy and comfortable. Now as we proceed, know one thing.... I am not saying that I have all  the answers or even the correct one. You know how many places I have looked for the answers, how many people I have asked for this answer. In the end only to find that when you stop, take a step back, and honestly evaluate the situation, the answers you find may be the best solutions to your problems. When you think about it and ask yourself who knows you or your children better than you do. It makes you wonder why we depend on a greater deal of information from others verses listening to our spirit as it guides us. As parents we are connected to our children and as they are to us in a way that compares to nothing else. As woman we carry these beautiful beings within our being. We feel them move and grow. They listen to our voices and at a point go to sleep and wake up to the sound of our heartbeats. Do we really understand that connection? Melanin responds to rhythm and our babies wake and sleep to our beating hearts. It’s funny to me now, how much I have listened to others only to one day just get it. Parenting is in no way easy and at times it may be down right unbearable. I have been a single parent for so many years and at times feel so broken, worn, and torn. I have needed a break from the children so badly that at times I would break down into tears. Now realizing I needed a break from a mode of thinking that kept me from really tackling some of the things that really needed to be addressed with my children as a family. I have learned that loving and accepting them is all they really need from me. I say this because I love my children but I had to really ask myself is this what they receive from me through their perception, love. Keeping in mind that your thoughts alter your perception and your perception alters your reality. We will always go through things as parents with our children however if at the end of the day we all know that we have love and a genuine acceptance of each other then we will be alright in the end. Love by definition varies according to the person, however the best definition that I have ever heard is:

Love- is the highest for of understanding between people with a bond so strong that it cannot be broken.

Needless to say that my focus now for my family as simple as it may sound is to focus more on simply loving and accepting each other so that we will have created a bond that is so strong that it cannot be broken. For many this seems a given, but for most, we are products of families that are dysfunctional on many levels and are simply determined to break the cycle.

Reaching Out

Sisterhood is something that should not be taken lightly. The opportunity to love, care for, support, laugh with, and cry with your sister is a beautiful connection. It takes time, energy, love, understanding, acceptance and selflessness! Take the time to reach out to the women that have been special in your life. I remember the days when my mother and her girfriends would get together to play spades and would laugh and talk into the wee hours of the morning. Those women were not only important in my mothers life but were very instrumental in my growth and development. Teaching me thru their love of my mother what sisterhood was all about.

We have lost that sense of community. We no longet take the time to call, write a letter, send a card or drop by to visit. Just a simnpe card to day, "Hey girl, just checking to see how you were doing." goes a long way! We are so wrapped up in our everyday that we forget to nurture the ties that bond us together as sisters.

Take the time today to reach out to a sister you have talked to in a while, that sister that you have been meaning to call but havent gotten around to, make a list of birthday reminders in your BlackBerry and instead of sending a Happy Birthday text send out a birthday card.

Lets begin to nurture our bonds of sisterhood!

Peace
Queen Kalila Earth

Chocolate Vegan Pudding

Ingredients:

1 package of silken tofu (I like vanilla)
3/8 cup of Cocoa Power
4 tablespoons of Soy Milk

Instructions:

Place all of the ingredients into a blender cover and puree until smooth. Then place the mixture in a container and refrigerate an hour, then serve.


VARIATIONS: You DO NOT have to adjust the recipe if you want to add any one variation

You can add a Banana, for chocolate banana pudding
You can add 5 Strawberries, for chocolate strawberry pudding
You can add 1/2 cup of Blueberries, for chocolate blueberry pudding

Allow yourself to receive sisterly love!I

This is something I read in Iyanla Vanzant's book Acts of Faith that has stuck with me over the years. I often find it hard to let people care for me as I am used to be the care giver. I had to realize sisterhood is a two way street and it is okay to allow yourself to be cared for. It doesn't make us less of a strong woman just allows us a break to be able to continue to be strong!!!

Be sure that you surround yourself with people who are willing to be there for you as you are for them. Nothing worse than trying to reach out to that sister that you have helped out and been there for 100x over and they never seem to be able to be there when you reach out and need that ear to listen or shoulder to cry on!

Every woman is every other woman trying to figure out who she is. ~ Nana Korantemaa

Women of color (Original Women) have been led to believe that they must be everything to everyone. As a result, we do not know how to ask for support when we need or want it. We become angry with other when they are not there for us, but we must realize people can not, will not and do not know how to help if we do not know how to ask. Take sixty seconds for yourself and ask yourself what you need. If it is assistance with a project, a shoulder to cry on, a special something you need or want for yourself, let other people support you. We make judgements about what other people can or will do and we move on our assumptions. We never really know what a person is willing to do or capable of doing until we ask. Nothing is too big or too small to ask for if we need it. When we don't ask for what we need, the need keeps getting bigger.

Affirmation~If I need support today I will ask for it!

Peace and Blessing

Queen Kalila Earth